Questionnaire filled in by Mark Morriss

(c. 1998)

Name: 'Mark James Morriss'

Build: 'slim, shortish, pasty'

Fav woman: 'Mira Sorvino, mmm ( well this week anyway)'

Boxers or Y fronts?: 'boxers everytime. let 'em dangle!'

If you were a woman what would be the first thing you would do?: 'Look for my g-spot!

'Daz Or Aerial?: 'Aerial, anything to avoid that pukey character Shane Ritchie character'

What is that secret you like to tell yourself?: ' You're the best, buddy, the top dog, the leader of the pack, le grande fromage!'

All Saints Or the Spice Girls - which is the lesser evil?: ' I used to think All Saints, but I think they're a bit tarty now where as the Spice Girls are just divvy'

Old People- what do you really think of them?: 'They smell bad and talk too much'

Who's gonna win the league?: 'Man Utd I'm afraid'

Finally do you have any messages for your adoring fans?: 'None whatsoever. they can all take a running jump at themselves for all I care. Ya Boo!'